The Carpenter
| The Carpenter | |
| Height | 6’2″ |
| Weight | 230 |
| Allergic to | Rap Music |
| Addicted to | Copenhagen |
| First Job | Worked on a farm |
| First Car | Piece of (CENSORED) |
| Highest Academic Achievement | Licensed Forklift Operator |
| Greatest Physical Accomplishment | WFBA 3 Time All-Star |
| Best Attribute | Good with Foreigners |
| Character Flaw | Frequent use of mild profanity |
| Theme Song | “Sister Christian” Night Ranger |
| Favorite Reading | Up from Slavery |
| Childhood Dreamgirl | Daisy Duke |
| Celebrity Lookalike | Morgan Freeman |